This is a short story by the Russian writer Fyodor Dostoevsky who was better known as Paolo.
Paolo lived his whole life alone, even when life was full of noise around him, he was lonely, and he was addicted to alcohol.
Paolo did not marry, but one day a woman who had a relationship with him for a few months told him that she was pregnant, but she disappeared, and he does not know yet whether she was sincere or wanting to cheat him for a handful of money. The important thing is that he remained alone except for the bottle of booze that always accompanied him.
He lived in a small room, not burdened by the value of its rent, which was commensurate with the value of the pension he was receiving.
His neighbor was a priest and a mysterious man, his silence was more than his words, sharp eyes, you rarely saw delicacy from him, and it was a great irony that the man who climbs up to the pulpit had such qualities, and “Paolo” avoided talking to him, perhaps because the priest despised him. He is nothing but an atheist drunkard who has never set foot in the church!
“Paolo” knew about the man what no one else knew. He was just a servant in the church, who only did some manual work. Then the war came, and the church became a shelter for the wounded and immigrants from the homes destroyed by the bombs, but after the end of the war he became a priest and preached the word of God. People lined up to him to confess all their sins to Paolo who sat behind a dark curtain and received donations; hence the secret of the mutual hatred between a man who, in the absence of time became a priest, and an atheist drunkard looking for God.
The truth is that “Paolo” was a kind-hearted and peaceful man to the highest degree, as he was often seen feeding stray dogs, and on one occasion he sheltered one of them for several days to escape the harshness of snow and rain, and he always said that he searched for the Lord a lot within the walls of the church and the sermons of the priests and the wisdom and asceticism of the monks. But he failed, as the pastor’s sermons kept him further away from the path that brought him closer to God, but he felt that a miracle would one day put him on the road away from his contempt – an infidel drunkard.
One night, while Paulo was returning from the tavern, semi conscious, he met the daughter of his neighbor Thomas, who was ill with asthma. And he was carrying with him a bottle of wine, which he had just bought for Christmas Eve, which was just around the corner, and he offered it in barter for medicine and give the girl enough medicine for her father for a whole month, so the Jew agreed immediately, as the bottle of wine dated back to the 1930s, meaning it was twenty years old and rare.
Paolo returned to his room without his drink, but he returned with something much more valuable than he had been looking for, for a long time. He returned with a quiver heart that he had failed to find within the walls of the church or from the sermons of priests and the intercession of saints and monks.
This tremor of the heart was from the sky, and what a miracle it was, as he did not drink alcohol after that, and when he died, they found under his pillow a paper on which he wrote: “Search for God in making people happy...”.
Paolo died as a believer not a preacher or a priest or a monk. He died as a believer with a trembling heart.
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By Ahmad alsarraf
