Children are the real victims of their parents ‘separation’

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Divorce threatens ‘nucleus’ of society, its cohesion

KUWAIT CITY, Feb 16: Between “stubbornness” and “social communication media”, families are lost under the pretext of meanness, neglect and lack of self-care, leading to broken homes. For other reasons, children lose the warmth and care of parents once a family decides to take ‘the most hated permissible thing’, which perhaps happens through the window of social media, reports Al- Qabas daily.

Divorce threatens the “nucleus” or heart of society and its cohesion, which has long been targeted by the negativity of dealing with modern civilization. This issue brings sleeplessness to the entities entrusted with bridging family rift to bring the couple “in dispute” together, based on the whim of one of them or to fix what was spoilt by parents who neglected the basic conditions upon which a successful marriage is based, such as consent and being at par in all aspects.

Ministry of Justice has sounded the alarm many times on this issue through an official annual statistic by which the reasons behind divorce cases handled by relevant authorities are monitored. This is to ensure that parents and children alike gain awareness on the massive crime committed against everyone, especially the children, through neglect of the scrutiny of couples (husband and wife) to determine the availability of ingredients ensuring the continuity of marriage to avoid the situation whereby children would yearn for motherly tenderness and parental care, which are lost due to failure of their parents.
“Make him marry to gain maturity.” This sentence is used by the mentors of parents, thinking they are helping them to solve or not, such advice opens doors for many cases of divorce and disintegration of families, and the children become the real victims of divorce.

Despite the future expectations, according to an official study conducted by the Ministry of Justice, the rate of divorce is expected to increase by 1,331 cases, indicating the number will reach 8,906 in 2022 from 7,575 cases in 2018. The authorities concerned with finding solutions to the rate of divorce in order to preserve marital life and the family unit have recorded more than 83 thousand cases in 10 years.

Strangely enough, Ministry of Justice has been monitoring the reasons or rather “causes of divorce” for more than 10 years but solutions are almost absent despite the existence of sectors concerned with following up family affairs that are expected to be a buffer wall for smashing all threats of family life.

Centers dealing with this issue might find holding of workshops enough, while in reality, their programs need to be developed or improved in a manner that will help minimize divorce rates.

The Higher Council for Family also needs revival to be able to perform its role adequately. What needs to be studied is the Fatwa Department at the Ministry of Awqaf, which receives a flood of inquiries about divorce in the hunt for legal opinion for settling cases of divorce.

The expressions of a husband toward his wife during tantrums indicate the level of pressures experienced by families with regards to the troubles of contemporary life. Looking at the manner in which government deals with this phenomenon through the ministers who took up the portfolio of justice, it is clear that many of them perceived the problem as a snowball ball, as they promised to find solution through effective mechanisms to preserve the family entity, but the issue continues to escalate.

The daily asked several specialists about the current trend of divorce, and they unanimously agreed that serious governmental stance is required in a bid to curtail the problem through educating families and enacting effective laws and legislation to preserve the family unit.

In this context, Director of Fatwa and Research Department at the Ministry of Awqaf Turki Al- Mutairi affirmed the latest figures of divorce is appalling and incites sleeplessness, noting the number of cases last year reached 260 and it varied from revocable to irrevocable divorce, as well as divorce under duress and anger.

Fatwa has a role to play, according to Al-Mutairi, through its guidance of the respondents by providing them with leaflets that specify the rights of spouses in order to overcome the phenomenon of divorce that has become prevalent in society and contribute to the stability of the family. Here are 29 “official” reasons for divorce: according to personal status law no.51; infidelity and lack of awareness, ill-treatment and stubbornness, persistent dispute, financial conditions, incompatibility of relationship, boredom and absence of the husband for a long period. It also specifies abhorrence; irresponsibility in raising children, parental intervention, lack of communication, negligence toward the rights of the significant other, not taking care of each other, difference of ambition and opinions, inability to conceive, marriage of convenience, alcohol and drug abuse, feeling restrained/suffocated, neglect of the home, keeping off parents, as well as educational and cultural differences. It also includes the absence of equality in terms of polygamy; social media, not seeing the wife before marriage, marriage without consent, jealousy and doubt, bad manners, and last but not the least material independence, and stinginess.

Dean of the College of Social Sciences at Kuwait University Dr Hammoud Al-Qash’an stated the Kuwaiti society today is evolving, and the reasons for divorce 20 years ago differ from those seen in the last five years due to the fact that the motives of divorce have become difficult for researchers to delve into. Dr Al-Qasha’an explained that the Ministry of Justice in 1999 counted about 19 causes of divorce, and now, the number has increased to 29. He affirmed that the main cause of divorce is “having a faulty mechanism of preparing young men and women for marriage, amid misconception and ignorance in the sense that married couples enter their matrimonial life as if they are going for excursion or temporary journey or romance to complete the other half.” “Parents are to blame for their failure to give full responsibility to their children in their teenage years, counting on the phrase “his wife is reasonable” to solve their children’s problems… and this concept is a great disaster to Kuwaiti society”, noted Al- Qasha’an.

He warned that young men and women need a school to teach them life skills, noting divorce rate in Kuwait should not be described as trivial. He went on to describe some couples as “impatient and nagging”, adding a couple disagreed on the night of their marriage over the sex of the photographer and another disagreed on the destination of the honeymoon due to the epidemic of East Asian countries. He mentioned deception as one of the major reasons that lead to divorce, reiterating “the culture of marriage is fragile in Kuwaiti society, so a broken family can inflict the virus on the children”.

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