Nothing seems eternal or permanent. Many things in our lives change from time to time, including our customs and traditions, the type of clothing we wear, the size and style of our homes, our modes of transportation, what we like and dislike, including morals, principles, ideals, and even our fundamental beliefs. This is noticeable when compared to the past few decades, let alone much earlier.
Condolences were often held at the cemetery, then gradually shifted to the home, the diwaniya traditional gathering place), or the husseiniya (a Shia religious center). This was more dignified, more practical, and more comfortable for some after the shift imposed by circumstances, with burials ceasing in cemeteries near homes and moving to more distant areas.
Furthermore, the simple, open-air tents or canopies used for receiving condolences offered no protection from the summer heat or the winter cold, and were uncomfortable on dusty days. Some benefactors donated funds to construct large, iron-roofed halls for receiving condolences, equipping them with air conditioning, water coolers, and other amenities, including signs indicating the queue for condolences. During the COVID-19 pandemic, many things changed, including the simplification of condolence rituals and the near disappearance of the custom of excessive hugging, kissing, and even handshakes.
Mourners simply raised their hands, without physical contact. The practice of receiving condolences at the cemetery and then at home or in a diwaniya changed. Condolences are now received only at the cemetery, with the option of receiving them through email. Some families also began receiving condolences at home, in a diwaniya, or at the mosque for a day or two, as the practice had become burdensome, especially during periods of extreme heat or cold.
I have visited cemeteries many times to offer condolences for a deceased relative. I observed that the reasons for most of those who attended ranged from seeking divine reward to fulfilling a duty towards the bereaved family, or other social reasons. What was truly irritating, however, was the insistence of a disturbingly large number of citizens on disregarding the rights of others and cutting in line to offer condolences.
This behavior is characterized by a clear lack of decorum and a disregard for the solemnity of the occasion. Those offering condolences should express their objection to such behavior politely. This behavior has persisted even after offering condolences recently become quicker and easier than before. It is difficult to teach people good manners if they do not desire them themselves.
However, it seems clear that the relationship between morality and religion is not necessarily contingent. A less religiously observant person may be more committed to morality, or vice versa.
By Ahmad alsarraf
email:[email protected]
email:[email protected]
