Are we still living our own lives? Or are we living everyone else’s?

There was a time when people used to compare themselves to only the people they knew personally, family, neighbors, colleagues, and friends. Today, we scroll past people’s lives thousands of times. Their trips, their accomplishments, their beautiful faces, their expensive meals, their careers, their happy moments. They are on the screen continuously in front of us. And many of us are now feeling that we are lagging in our lives.

We now call that FOMO, the fear of missing out. However, this FOMO is not missing out on the latest party or an opportunity. This is something different. It is the fear that our life is not interesting. It is difficult to be still. Resting is not productive. Staying home is not enough. Not even living our own days is enough. Sometimes we do not feel happy enough if we do not take a picture of ourselves when we are happy and share it online.

Many people do not live their lives anymore; instead, they live them through the fear of what they would lose. What is even more painful to witness is how guilty people feel if they decide to do something for themselves. To not attend to everything. To not connect with everyone. To not respond to every message, to not be at every event or trend. It is as if the world is now running, and if you are not keeping up with the latest developments, then you will lose your life.

But who started the race anyway? Social media has not made anyone insecure; it has only made it stronger. We are given a constant reminder of other people’s highlights, not reality. We only see others’ lives that look perfect, while behind the scenes, everyone else is experiencing life with its stress, pressure, uncertainty, loneliness, and exhaustion. And if you do not believe me, no one’s life is perfect, not on the screen either. Behind every perfect picture is a human being who is afraid, disappointed, struggling, and fighting their own battles.

The greatest cost of this age of FOMO is not the loss of time but the loss of presence in our own lives. It is when you are always watching everything and never actually experience what is right there in front of you. When you are always trying to participate in everything, sometimes you lose connection to yourself. Now, maybe it is a revolutionary way to be in touch with yourself.

To say: I do not need to be there for everything. I do not have to please everyone. I do not have to prove I am living an exciting life. True happiness might be much quieter than what we were taught growing up. Maybe it is just living your own life, without constantly thinking that we should be living someone else’s lives.

By Hala Bader Al Humaidhi